No. You Can’t Have a Pony: Biden, Trump and the Single Issue Election

Buck Down
7 min readMar 11, 2020

Donald Trump isn’t just an idiot — he’s a magical idiot. Beyond being just a yawning chasm of ignorance, he’s actually a sucking vortex of idiocy that literally bends cognitive space-time for simply coming near him. As republican strategist Rick Wilson put it — everything Trump touches dies. Literally an entire new branch of the military was formed for fighting in space after Trump probably watched 20 minutes of Independence Day on his phone while taking a shit. We have now spent three of the longest years in human history watching the daily chaos created by the brain farts of one of the world’s least self-aware people being placed in the most powerful job on the planet.

So it should come as no surprise that the 2020 presidential election wouldn’t be spared being turned into the lowest and basest of our national impulses, and quite frankly, you haven’t seen SHIT yet. By September of this dark year, your very eyeballs will bleed in disbelief at how utterly stupid this process is going to become. But that’s OK. This is America. We were born for this. No one civilization does dumb better than us.

As of this writing, we are now at about the halfway mark of the 2020 Democratic primary, and in an unmistakeable and resounding manner, the American body politic that doesn’t own a dog-eared copy of Mein Kampf or at least multiple Facebook profiles to counteract being repeatedly tossed in Facebook jail for violating community standards has made it clear. For better or worse, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is the blunt instrument with which they intend to dislodge this dollar store autocrat from the levers of power.

In a rational, evidence based world — it would be an obvious no-brainer how we got here. The greatest common denominator of a large group usually isn’t great. It’s how you end up at Applebee’s.

More specifically, white people simply had no idea how well black people know them. Black folks have always had to bear the worst parts of white people’s bad political instincts. It’s largely what makes them the most pragmatic voters in in the American electorate. After watching White America chase it’s own tail for three years in the wake of Trump — they figured out what should have been blindingly clear to anyone not driving a Subaru with a…

Buck Down

Professional traveling musician, artist and writer. Amateur comedian and smart person.