No. You Can’t Have a Pony: Biden, Trump and the Single Issue Election

Donald Trump isn’t just an idiot — he’s a magical idiot. Beyond being just a yawning chasm of ignorance, he’s actually a sucking vortex of idiocy that literally bends cognitive space-time for simply coming near him. As republican strategist Rick Wilson put it — everything Trump touches dies. Literally an entire new branch of the military was formed for fighting in space after Trump probably watched 20 minutes of Independence Day on his phone while taking a shit. We have now spent three of the longest years in human history watching the daily chaos created by the brain farts of one of the world’s least self-aware people being placed in the most powerful job on the planet.

So it should come as no surprise that the 2020 presidential election wouldn’t be spared being turned into the lowest and basest of our national impulses, and quite frankly, you haven’t seen SHIT yet. By September of this dark year, your very eyeballs will bleed in disbelief at how utterly stupid this process is going to become. But that’s OK. This is America. We were born for this. No one civilization does dumb better than us.

As of this writing, we are now at about the halfway mark of the 2020 Democratic primary, and in an unmistakeable and resounding manner, the American body politic that doesn’t own a dog-eared copy of Mein Kampf…